Introduction

Welcome to What Art Carries! I am so glad you are here. I am an amateur writer and will be learning as I go, but life is a journey. I am hoping that you, dear reader, are willing to grow with me. This blog will be messy and sometimes the topics will be fragile for some, but my plan is to be as real as I can be. You will soon learn that I am a broken, blunt, blue-haired babe, with a heart for helping others realize how beautiful they are despite what the world tells them. Despite what the world tells you. Yes, you! So without further chit-chat, lets get in to the real stuff!

Article

Hello. My name is Maci, and I write to you all today, as a human-being before all else. All my life I have struggled to connect with people due to the depth of my emotions. I do not want to talk about simple things. I do not care about the looks of your haircut or the pattern of your shirt. I want to know the “why.” Why did you choose that length of hairstyle? Does the pattern of your shirt mean something to you? This is off-putting to many people, so I have taught myself the preprogrammed “Beautiful weather” conversations, and have expressed myself through many forms of art. However, that is not what I am here to do. We will talk art, but we will talk about the complicated things. I am here to talk much deeper than the weather. I want to start by explaining where I am at in my journey. I am a young adult attending a private Christian college, but do not get the wrong idea! I am not here looking to be a pastor’s wife. In fact I find that idea to be rather abhorring. I am at college to learn how to be the woman that I was created to be. Yes, yes, I am a Christian, and a proud one, but do not let that turn you off. I know the stigma that brings, and I want to prove it wrong. If you are still with me I want to confess a few things upfront. If upfront is not for you then this may not be a page to your liking. I am diagnosed with OCD, GAD, an otherwise specified Depressive Disorder, and Asthma. I am treated for all of these along with short term manic symptoms that are unnamed. Those all shape who I am and have been accumulated over the years from varying degrees of trauma. Another important thing to know about me is that I am same-sex attracted. I am not a fan of labels and putting my sexuality out there, but I view it as necessary to understanding who I am as a person. As I am writing a good majority of the people who know me know this about me and I am not ashamed. I will express my full views in another post that I imagine will be soon. But for now it is important that you know that I do not care who you are or what you bring to the table, because I am a mess. A broken and confused mess, but I am working to make something beautiful out of it. I currently live a manageable distance from where I grew up, but am doing my best to create clear boundaries between myself and home. Not out of hate, but out of love. I love my family very much, but am not too keen on living under their ideals of what I view to be true. I just like the rest of my family am quite the control freak, but also a people pleaser. Make that make sense. I can’t. I am about three-ish years into my therapy journey and see a medical specialist along with two separate therapists. One therapist for CBT and one for EMDR. If you are curious of the ins and outs of these then stay tuned. My goal is to discuss all of these things and many more in future posts.

What comes next?

My next posts will be about, sexuality and my views on how it belongs in the church, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, my therapy journey, and of course Art. Then I am hoping to open up the conversation to things that you, my readers, want to discuss.